Prior to my exposure to LFL in my junior year of college, I had made the decision to “work hard” at keeping a lust free life. The practice of self-control had me going for some time, but I knew that self-control by itself would only last a while. I was able to physically prevent myself from visiting pornographic sites, but when it came to handling the lustful desires lurking in my mind, I was powerless.
LFL brought to the surface the truth that sin begins with the entertainment of the thought, not the action. Clearly, the more I pondered on a sexual sin, the more likely I was to carry it out.
One would think that simply shutting off the thought would solve the problem, but all it did was bounce off the wall and come right back at me. This is where spiritual warfare came in. The enemy’s deception had clouded my mind to the point where I had completely forgotten that, as a child of God, I have been granted power and authority in the spiritual realm. LFL thus ended my defensive stance; I reawakened as a warrior and took up the offense against the enemy. In the name of Jesus Christ I rose against all principalities and powers that tried to make a claim on my thoughts. That is when I began to see the difference–my physical battles were harmless against the enemy because it was all in my own strength and effort. But when I admitted to God that I was weak and needed his help, I started becoming victorious in battle.
I wish that the story could end in that last paragraph, but spiritual warfare is not as such. The enemy retreats to his camp, develops a new strategy and attacks again. I began to develop “strategies” of my
own–porn filters on my computer, no cable TV and being in the Word daily. Despite the good intentions of these safety precautions, I began to stumble again because my battles had ceased to be spiritual and became more physical. Though I had an Internet filter, no cable TV, and I had been in the Word for a half hour one blessed morning, twenty minutes later I was looking at porn online. (Don’t ask me how I broke past the filter.) The truth is, though I may make all kinds of boundaries, rules and regulations, counseling and psychologist appointments, even reading the Bible, all these are worthless if I fail to practice the fundamental aspect of it all–that only in abandoning myself to Jesus Christ can I truly experience freedom.
I still battle to this very day, and I know that I will until I die. But I am not a “recovering addict.” NO, I LIVE IN THE FREEDOM OF CHRIST! Do I still get tempted? Yes, almost every day. “Hey Asobo, let’s just look at one picture … just one. It doesn’t have to be porn, it could just be a picture of a naked woman … it’s just a picture nothing more. Don’t you sometimes see nudity in movies? C’mon it’s just one picture.” I know that if thoughts such as these are not handled correctly, they will mature into sin. The enemy lures me with flimsy excuses. “It’s not so bad after all.” He desires to create in me a hopelessness that would water down my faith in order to accommodate sin. But God did not create me to manage sin–I was born free!
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality”
(Ephesians 5:3).
Written by: Asobo
