I just read an article in Christianity Today titled “The Leavers” which said, “According to Rainer Research, approximately 70% of American youth drop out of church between the ages of 18 and 22.  The Barna Group estimates that 80% of those reared in the church will be ‘disengaged’ by the time they are 29.  Barna Group president David Kinnaman described the reality in stark terms: ‘Imagine a group photo of all the students who come to your church (or live within your community of believers) in a typical year. Take a big fat marker and cross out three out of every four faces.  That’s the probable toll of spiritual disengagement as students navigate through their faith during the next two decades.’”

“Moral failure” was cited as one of the reasons.  It reminds me of what one 16 year old said to me a few days ago.  “Before going through Dangerous Men I did not think it would ever be possible to have a real relationship with God even though I grew up in a Christian home.”

It makes me so sad to see how bad the church has done in addressing sexual issues.

There is hope, help, grace, forgiveness and freedom!

Lowell

Prior to my exposure to LFL in my junior year of college, I had made the decision to “work hard” at keeping a lust free life. The practice of self-control had me going for some time, but I knew that self-control by itself would only last a while. I was able to physically prevent myself from visiting pornographic sites, but when it came to handling the lustful desires lurking in my mind, I was powerless.
LFL brought to the surface the truth that sin begins with the entertainment of the thought, not the action. Clearly, the more I pondered on a sexual sin, the more likely I was to carry it out.
One would think that simply shutting off the thought would solve the problem, but all it did was bounce off the wall and come right back at me. This is where spiritual warfare came in. The enemy’s deception had clouded my mind to the point where I had completely forgotten that, as a child of God, I have been granted power and authority in the spiritual realm. LFL thus ended my defensive stance; I reawakened as a warrior and took up the offense against the enemy. In the name of Jesus Christ I rose against all principalities and powers that tried to make a claim on my thoughts. That is when I began to see the difference–my physical battles were harmless against the enemy because it was all in my own strength and effort. But when I admitted to God that I was weak and needed his help, I started becoming victorious in battle.
I wish that the story could end in that last paragraph, but spiritual warfare is not as such. The enemy retreats to his camp, develops a new strategy and attacks again. I began to develop “strategies” of my
own–porn filters on my computer, no cable TV and being in the Word daily. Despite the good intentions of these safety precautions, I began to stumble again because my battles had ceased to be spiritual and became more physical. Though I had an Internet filter, no cable TV, and I had been in the Word for a half hour one blessed morning, twenty minutes later I was looking at porn online. (Don’t ask me how I broke past the filter.) The truth is, though I may make all kinds of boundaries, rules and regulations, counseling and psychologist appointments, even reading the Bible, all these are worthless if I fail to practice the fundamental aspect of it all–that only in abandoning myself to Jesus Christ can I truly experience freedom.

I still battle to this very day, and I know that I will until I die. But I am not a “recovering addict.” NO, I LIVE IN THE FREEDOM OF CHRIST! Do I still get tempted? Yes, almost every day. “Hey Asobo, let’s just look at one picture … just one. It doesn’t have to be porn, it could just be a picture of a naked woman … it’s just a picture nothing more. Don’t you sometimes see nudity in movies? C’mon it’s just one picture.” I know that if thoughts such as these are not handled correctly, they will mature into sin. The enemy lures me with flimsy excuses. “It’s not so bad after all.” He desires to create in me a hopelessness that would water down my faith in order to accommodate sin. But God did not create me to manage sin–I was born free!

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality”
(Ephesians 5:3).

Written by: Asobo

By Paul Scrabeck

In the summer of 2007 I moved from my lifelong state of residence in Minnesota to Denver, Colorado. It was not until the following spring that I realized the torment the different vegetation would have on my allergies. As the hundreds (if not thousands) of cherry trees blossomed around the city, my eyes swelled up into big, itchy, red and burning balls of too much histamine. After a couple days of that I was ready for a cure!

So I turned to my Mother in law. My mother in law is a natural health guru. She, unlike some pharmaceutical companies, is in the business of treating the cause of people’s ailments rather than helping them just deal with the symptoms. Before you think this is an advertisement for my mother in law’s business or against pharmaceutical companies I want to mention that with most issues both treatment of symptoms and the cause are needed. Spiritually the same is true, we are free to treat symptoms but lasting change and freedom from bondage will only come if we tackle the cause of the issue.

Now, getting closer to my third spring in this new allergen laden land, after many trips to the drug store and conversations with my Mother in law I think I have found the right mix of herbs and medicine to combat my hyper-sensitive allergies.

And you know what? The solution was not an overnight fix. The solution has been a mix of treating the symptoms so that I can function with eyes that are not blood shot while also treating the cause. I take some allergy medicine to treat the symptoms but to help my system get used to the new allergens here in Denver I take a table spoon of local honey in my tea each day. The bees that pollinate the local plants leave a trace of the local allergens in the honey thus helping my body to adjust to the allergens.

When it comes to lust we have to go after the cause as well. So often the symptoms are the only thing that receive “treatment”. We go after the masturbation, the porn, the inappropriate sexual relationships and we do not see the deeper cause of all these issues, which is a lustful heart. To be sure, we need to treat the symptoms, but you will never fix the heart of the issue or be freed from bondage if you only treat the symptoms!

James 1:14&15 says, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin.” Shut off the porn and the evil desire is still there. Stop masturbating and the evil desire is still there. The source of the evil is our hearts. Apart from new life from Christ, our hearts are dead and found wanting.

As we learn to embrace our new heart and identity given to us by Christ we may need to use filters on our computers, make a strong commitment to choosing to be accountable, and create boundaries to ensure pure actions with a girlfriend or boyfriend. A table spoon of honey spiritually may be scripture memorization, so that you learn to store the truth in your mind about why obedience to Christ is the best thing for your life. The honey might be regular fellowship with other believers for encouragement and accountability. It might be taking a break from dating until your heart re-learns what your focus should be in dating. It might be prayers of submission and abandonment to God, helping your heart learn complete dependence upon God for your joy and sustenance. All of these things help treat and retrain your heart and mind to be focused on pleasing God instead of the evil desires of your flesh.

Most importantly, a plan is needed to deal with lust and the associated symptoms. It will not happen if it is not done intentionally. What is your plan? How will you start to deal with the issue? Dangerous Men and/or Unveil are great places to start. Find some people to help fight spiritually for you as you seek to purify your heart and mind.

As you move forward on your journey you’ll probably need a consistent dose of honey to keep your heart centered on Christ. It is our hope and prayer that you will be victorious and your “allergies” will begin to fade as Christ transforms your heart and mind!

By David Theobald

The enemy frequently uses a deceptive strategy of minimizing the impact of sin.

What if you see a box of donuts on a table with a “free” sign behind them? If you’re anything like me, I would take 1 or 10, and love on those little sugar-grease-puffs until they were gone! Now if you were to ask me two hours later if those donuts were really “free” and I would say “No”. They cost me a sugar headache, and sluggish productivity.

And if those “free” donuts were offered to me every day of my life, and you asked me ten years from now if those donuts were “free”. You would get your answer by glancing at the inner tube of “extra” chub around my waist, or my second chin.

Yet, they sing such a seductive song as they sit there inside the plexi-glass showcase. Celery has nowhere near the attraction. How do I take the donut temptation thought captive?

One way to permanently take a thought captive is to think frequently and deeply about the long-term impact of the tempting thought. Meditate on it. Run it through to its natural long term end. So when I see the donuts, I think “Mmmm donuts”, but the thought is interrupted with “yeah, but the sugar low following the sugar high sucks”, but then I see the “free” sign and think “who can pass up a deal like this?” So I reach for the wax paper and just then a short video starts in my head. It opens with me nervously sitting in the doctor’s office, ten years from now, 50 lbs heavier, prepping for a triple bypass surgery…and as the video fades, I quickly think “Celery sounds good to me today”.

The initial attractiveness of a thought, looses its power when we meditate on its inevitable malicious impact. The short term pull for gratification is weakened under the desire for long-term satisfaction. Taking a thought captive is not simply handcuffing it and kicking it out of your brain, but putting it on trial. When we have a thought like “Hmmm, free donuts”, and don’t meditate on the real cost of them, we will go for treat every time.

Porn is like sugar. It has a quick rush, but long term let down.

The dark results of weakened dreams and passions, loss of strength to leave an impact on others, loss of job and family, and the support of a cavernous dark oppressive industry, are a few of the malicious side effects of porn. Porn is not free. Porn is expensive!

By taking tempting thoughts captive, by seeing them for what they really are, I am motivated to avoid the porn-sugar, that daily entices me.  I choose to run thoughts to their logical end.  The more I fill my thinking with the “costs” of sugar, the less my desire for it is.  Excess sugar has painful results.  This tactic will help us win against lustful temptations in our lives as well!

By David Theobald

If you put in a dollar, push the button, a pop (soda or coke depending on your state of residence) will emerge for you to drink. That is the timeless commitment of a pop machine. That is the pact that all the vending machines agree on at their conventions. It promises to deliver beverage when you put in the proper change.

What happens when it doesn’t deliver what it promised? What happens when you uphold your end of the bargain, but the dang machine doesn’t?

I feel pretty upset when this happens to me. There have been plenty of times I have had my heart set on a sugary rush, and a commitment-breaking-machine tried to stop me from getting it! I have shaken and kicked my share of pop machines. Or my most recent coin loss was to a silly car vacuum. I can’t remember the exact success rate of the “abuse method”, but I am guessing the pop machine and all other vending machines still holds the lead in the overall tally.

I know I have never signed a contract before I put my money in…but the agreement is understood! I have every right to that soda! How angry we get when something is promised to us, but it never shows up. This must be one of the deepest pains known to humanity.

If broken promises breed this kind of pain and anger, like they do with the pop machine, and the vacuum, then pornography must breed anger as well. Pornography is full of empty promises. In the words of Pastor Rob Bell “It promises and does not deliver.”

“You will feel better if you go to this website”

“You will have less anxiety if you masturbate right now”

“Your body needs this release, lust and masturbation will give it to you”

“You will learn more about sex, and be better at it, if you look at this”

“You will have immediate gratification, and no long term consequences if you go through with this”

“You have been working so hard, you will enjoy the porn reward”

From personal experience, I know that all lines above are empty promises. Sure I feel good for a moment, sure the rush is quite nice, but does it really relieve me of anxiety? My anxiousness actually decreases for a moment after I lust, but when the rush subsides, the anxiousness increases. The fear is not gone. I know that I feel more controlled, and less in control (less freedom) of my God-given desires. I know that lust has clouded my mind more than it has relieved it of tension. It has distracted me from my goals more than it has blazed a clear trail.

A majority of the anger inside me is from believing in promises that have left me dry and empty. Porn lies to us. It claims to offer more benefits than it follows through with. The more I look at porn the more anger is ignited inside of me. Anger was never on the list of “what I wanted to be when I grew up”. If indulgence seems attractive to you, ask yourself what benefit you are really getting from it. After the short-lived buzz are you a bit disappointed? Is that disappointment leading to machine-kicking anger?

The best part is that a remedy exists for the frequent indulger and the angry machine kicker. Confess your sins to a brother, pray for one another, be healed. Rinse and repeat, for the rest of your life. I call it the 516 lifestyle. James 5:16 says “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for each other so you can be healed, for the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective”.

I have seen quite a few men relieved of heavy burdens and experience healing by sharing things with me that they had kept secret for a long time. By releasing their shame to Jesus, they were lifted of great heaviness. Confess and be healed. No more angry kicking, that is a promise that always delivers.

Lust is such a consistent struggle that most people can hardly imagine what their life would look like without it.  If you’re like I was, you have tried all sorts of techniques to try and gain victory from this struggle that has plagued you ever since puberty. We’ve filtered our computers, bounced our eyes, set boundaries (and reset them).  We have tried every trick in every book, hopping that the next one will possess some sort of magic secret that sets us free from this sickness.

At the slightest hint of progress, we think that we have finally unlocked the cure only to relapse in a couple of days, or months, or hours; crushing all hope of actually being free.  Most of us ride this roller coaster up and down long enough that there is no longer enough inertia for anything but a slow, dejected roll.  Eventually, the struggle wears us out. Failing hurts worse when you try hard, and when it hurts enough for long enough, we end up hopeless and apathetic, accepting the fate of our disease. We accept that sexual sin will be a part of our life, and resign ourselves to simply try to manage it rather than fighting to be free from it all together.

Such hopelessness is a disastrous for followers of Christ. As Peter says, we are born into a living hope through the resurrection of Christ.  This hope is not in our ability to cure ourselves from sexual sin, or in some secret method to alleviate our desires, but rather in Jesus Christ, the Risen Lord.   The gospel is all about hope. When Jesus first started his ministry, he announced that he had come to set the captives free and heal those who are sick.  His life was about bringing hope to those who had none.  A life lived in Christ is distinguished by a living hope in Christ, a hope for the freedom he promised.

The struggle is real, but through Christ, freedom is always possible.  If you are reading this and still skeptical, I invite you to investigate LFL further, it can nott cure you, or set you free, but it does a great job of pointing to Christ and giving some practical advice about how to walk in the freedom that Christ has for all of us.  If you have been through LFL, or have experienced freedom from lust and sexual sin, please share your story or experiences here. Sharing our stories is a great way to encourage others to live in hope.